Hosting Eccentric Chili Pepper

We were intoxicated New Yorkers.  Washingtonians weren’t ready for us.  How dare you stand so close while we use the ATM machine?  You got the grand scale cuss out you deserved.  So what if the four letter words were slurred?

This is one of my most notorious memories of Ellie.  She called and needs a place to stay in Washington DC.  Here is the thing about Ellie.  She has one of those lifestyles that belong to movie characters.  We went to college together and had some of the same classes.  She would arrive to class fresh from smoking a joint redpepperin her dorm room, or hung over with smeared eye makeup.  She would promptly fall asleep on a desk.  The professor thought he was teaching Ellie a lesson by asking her to join the discussion.  We would all be surprised by Ellie’s brilliant response.  After she reminded us that she was a child prodigy Ellie continued with loud snoring.  Ellie went on to complete an Ivy League doctorate and is now Dr. Ellie.  She has earned that eccentric label worn by many professors who effortlessly spend nights out, research, publish, teach, and gulp down cocktails at various events.  I checked out her ratings on Rate My Professor and not only do they think she is great, she also has a chili pepper for hotness (well deserved scores, I’m sure).

Professor Ellie may not smoke as much weed as she used to but she definitely doesn’t understand my new lifestyle.  I am truly nervous as her visit approaches.  She is my friend so I can’t deny her a place to stay, but…

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