19. Illuminated Chihuahua Trauma

blublockersthe-matrix-morpheus-sunglassesI wish I was smiling like this woman when the doctor handed me this light crushing film to affix to my face. I looked back up at her and she gave me the what-did-you-expect look. I wasn’t expecting Versace shades, but sheesh. How could I walk down the street wearing these? I may have been wearing sweats, but Anna diva from the 1990s wouldn’t let me sink so far into frump. Who did the doctor think I was? The only person I have ever seen pull this look off was Morpheus. He had an excuse. He was caught in the matrix every time he wore the armless specs.

I descended from the LensCrafters to the sidewalk after tucking the film into my purse. I had another 30 minutes before my eyes fully dilated. With each step the sun’s rays reached closer to my pupils. Near the corner I was fully blinded. I attempted to push the light away like a drunk meeting dawn battling a crippling hangover. The sun was – unbelievable. I couldn’t see my own feet as I put one in front of the other. Is this what X-Files freaks see before they are “abducted” by aliens?

A cushion of soft fur in my path sent me tumbling towards the concrete. I heard a jangling leash make circles around me prefaced by a yelp. Sitting on the gravely sidewalk I couldn’t find the film fast enough. With the protective eye-wear secure on my face, I looked up and saw a graying socialite cradling her shivering Chihuahua. She looked down atme like I wasn’t worth her disgust and hurried away. Whoops! Looks like I’d prefer frump over shaky somersaults towards the concrete, after all.

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