Tagged with Washington DC

32.  Velvet Roped DC

32. Velvet Roped DC

I was looking raggedy and tattered.  Wearing funky and sweaty workout clothes I casually decided to make my way around to the Cororan Gallery of Art.  I recalled an advertisement I saw in the City Paper about an exhibit centered on Washington, DC subculture of the 1980s.  I checked the paper handy in my bag … Continue reading

29. Blingin’ Disheveled Zombie

29. Blingin’ Disheveled Zombie

I screamed when I saw the emailed offer letter.  I was willing to do anything.  I would scoop monkey poop if I had to.  No matter what, never again would I cross that familiar threshold, like I had every morning for the past three years. It was time for a new job, even if I had … Continue reading

28. Glutton for Punishment

28. Glutton for Punishment

I admit it!  I totally cheated.  I went to the same place twice.  I don’t know if I stated it or not, but I try not to repeat any of the 100.  I just couldn’t help it.  You would think that it’s easy to work at a job that you know you’re going to leave … Continue reading

27. Involuntary Vomit

27. Involuntary Vomit

First thing’s first. I’ve got to get this off my chest. Good grief! The gym is truly a sexy place. I had no idea. I guess I knew on some level because sitcoms allude to the sexual energy in the gym. I’m not a gym person so I didn’t really understand how treadmills, heavy weights, … Continue reading

26.  I Hate Traveling!

26. I Hate Traveling!

I really do hate it.  I don’t understand why people include traveling as a plus in online dating bois and “witty” cocktail conversations.  Traveling sucks! Once upon I time, when I was trying to fit into Carrie Bradshaw’s shoes, I went to Japan.  I was so convinced that in order to be just like Carrie I … Continue reading

24. Capitulating to Archaism

24. Capitulating to Archaism

I’m embarking on a new lifestyle.  Done with capitalism.  Moving to a farm to live on the land.  Becoming one with earth and soil.  Hugging trees.  Good bye iPhone, computer, Kindle, and cable television…All of this is b*llsh#t speak for I’m broke now.  I haven’t felt the full effect of my new brokedom because technically, … Continue reading

100 Places on 100 Cents

100 Places on 100 Cents

Metro ride: $3.98 Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial visit: $0 Living in a city that affords me the opportunities to carry out goals beyond vibrators, wine & television: PRICELESS I have decided to double back.  I’m starting a brand new career path, or should I say, tax bracket.  I am recent-graduate-out-of-college broke.  While I am … Continue reading

20. Soothing Short Bus Panic

20. Soothing Short Bus Panic

Years ago, when I was a teacher, my class was divided into reading groups.  When I met with the lowest reading group we read a version of Jack and Jill.  I followed up with comprehension questions.  I asked why Jill followed Jack and tumbled down the hill.  The girl laying on the table letting drool escape from her … Continue reading

15.  Dodging Va Jay Jay

15. Dodging Va Jay Jay

My husband has long fingers and strong hands.  They are perfect for kneading tension out of shoulders. Despite the perfect niche for his hands he leaves me whining like a baby for the smallest bit of attention to my back. I decided to take matters into my own hands.  (Not literally :-) I have tried to massage myself … Continue reading

Hump Day Lube

Hump Day Lube

I was glad that the roads were precipitation free as I barreled down Pennsylvania Avenue. The last thing I needed was to hit a patch of black ice the first night winter descended on Washington DC. Jiffy Lube closed at 7.  It was 6:45. After sliding past many yellow lights I promptly made it there by … Continue reading

14. Yellow Puddles

14. Yellow Puddles

When I was five years old I endured weekly Saturday ballet classes.  I begged my father to let me quit.  I was dying to play outside with the other neighborhood kids on Saturday mornings.  He refused.  After some months it was time for my first recital.  My family descended from all 5 New York boroughs … Continue reading

Pasta Paired with…Odwalla?

Pasta Paired with…Odwalla?

When my friend asked me to join her for dinner my eyes widened a little bit. The thing is – it had been a year since I stepped foot in the place. Back then I was a regular. I knew all of the line cooks and of course – the bartender. The bartender and I … Continue reading

12. VIP

12. VIP

My dear Ellie.  I know you are a hot shot professor, drive a convertible, and consider yourself VIP wherever you go.  However, your orange ticket doesn’t mean you should wear a ball gown to the inauguration.  Hundreds of people got the same entrance ticket to stand a mile away from the president’s podium.  Ellie sweetie, … Continue reading

Hosting Eccentric Chili Pepper

Hosting Eccentric Chili Pepper

We were intoxicated New Yorkers.  Washingtonians weren’t ready for us.  How dare you stand so close while we use the ATM machine?  You got the grand scale cuss out you deserved.  So what if the four letter words were slurred? This is one of my most notorious memories of Ellie.  She called and needs a place … Continue reading

7.  Spikes & Meat?

7. Spikes & Meat?

I tried to draw myself a little reminder.  The exhibit leaves the National Museum of Women in the Arts on January 6th, I believe.  So I drew myself a little picture so that I would not miss it.  It was a little sketch on a post-it note by my nightstand.  It was supposed to be … Continue reading