It’s amazing to me how much I’ve changed since I’ve been sober. The activities that used to be super exciting currently lull me to boredom. The other day I went to an office mandated happy hour at what used to be my favorite restaurant. I know the hostess, bartenders, and wait staff by first name. … Continue reading
I cackled like a lunatic in the company cafeteria. It was common of me whenever I dined with the ever so fabulous Ken. As he told me the latest calamity he used theatrical nuances, and tousled small bits of frosted war hawk with manicured, polished fingertips. He tried to keep it as masculine as possible, in … Continue reading
Metro ride: $3.98 Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial visit: $0 Living in a city that affords me the opportunities to carry out goals beyond vibrators, wine & television: PRICELESS I have decided to double back. I’m starting a brand new career path, or should I say, tax bracket. I am recent-graduate-out-of-college broke. While I am … Continue reading
I’m having an affair. It’s been going on for a while. Since I quit drinking is has gotten serious. It was a blah Wednesday evening. Rain pelted and exploded on my windshield attempting to slow me down. I mashed the gas with my stilettoed heel. Minivans and Priuses swerved out of my way as if they … Continue reading
They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in … Continue reading
At one of my favorite pasta chains I looked through the window and saw this sign. Ok, ok, I get it. How ironic is it that I didn’t get it six months ago when I stumbled home after my pasta bowl and usual three glasses of wine. Later, I lost my dinner in the toilet. … Continue reading
Many responded in different ways to the battering ram wearing on the hinges of the front double doors. Some started dumping mounds of paper into gigantic paper shredders. Others started to click away furiously on computer keyboards. With every keystroke evidence slipped away like sand. One woman started crying. I looked through the frosted window … Continue reading
I had few minutes in-between sliding file folders from the left to right side of my desk. I let the handset lay limply between my ear and shoulder. I was barely paying attention to the phone call as I sloppily attempted to multitask. Somehow I was able to respond to the prompts. The automated lady … Continue reading
Bow chicka wow ow! Two to three times a year my job gets so overwhelming that I have no choice but to work on the weekend – A top ten Anna no no. Here is what proSEXtination used to look like: By Friday, I would stock up red wine and drink half of it. Before my … Continue reading
My husband looked over my shoulder as I typed incessantly. “How many short stories are you going to write? You’re like Tupac.” What? Tupac? How does a country music fanatic like my husband know anything about Tupac? My husband is also a documentary nut. He watches anything as long as it’s documentary style. According to … Continue reading
When I was five years old I endured weekly Saturday ballet classes. I begged my father to let me quit. I was dying to play outside with the other neighborhood kids on Saturday mornings. He refused. After some months it was time for my first recital. My family descended from all 5 New York boroughs … Continue reading
I was delighted by the smell of bleach. Bathrooms. Check! Newspaper trick my husband taught me plus Windex equals a streak free mirror. I’ve got the foyer smelling like pine. Only one thing left. The stove top could benefit from some Lysol. Just a short reach under the kitchen sink and I’ll be done cleaning for … Continue reading
When my friend asked me to join her for dinner my eyes widened a little bit. The thing is – it had been a year since I stepped foot in the place. Back then I was a regular. I knew all of the line cooks and of course – the bartender. The bartender and I … Continue reading
The salesgirl, all of eighteen years old, rushed over to me after I started taking pictures of the paint samples. “You really can’t judge a paint sample with a cell phone picture.” I was feeling like she banned me from the paint aisle with her correction. I put down the paint sample slowly, and made … Continue reading
So…I’m not one to brag but I used to be a track star. When I ran I was in a zone. That zone propelled me past my competitors on light feet. After the first 300 meters I really hit my stride and glided down the last straightaway. The form and coolness in my clenching muscles … Continue reading
My first AA meeting was in a stale smelling room with a scattering of about fifteen people. Samantha pushed me to go after I told her what happened at the holiday party. On Friday she reminded me about the meeting in her Mr. Rogers tone, “Anna, what time is the meeting today?” I wondered if she … Continue reading
I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. I decided to go against my better judgment. My company is young and fresh out of college. I’m the oldest in my department. It’s really nice being managed by a woman four years my junior. (Do you detect the sarcasm?) Last year the wine spilled all night. That … Continue reading
I am an outrageously, over the top Sex and the City fan. Do you remember that episode when Blair Underwood asked Miranda to take a day off from work? Do you remember her response? I may hate my job, but just like Miranda I never take personal time off from work. My colleague actually gasped … Continue reading
more than vibrators, wine, & television 